Walt Disney World in July, a tongue-in-cheek, extremely sarcastic look at a Magical Disney Vacation in the sweltering central Florida heat and humidity during the month of July.
Do you love super moisturized, glistening skin? What if I told you it was included with each and every vacation package at no additional charge? That's right folks, if you book for the month of July we guarantee glistening, dewy skin for each and every guest who visits the parks regardless of age!!
But wait that's not all...Would you like to be immersed in a full multi-cultural experience?? Well for July we guarantee you will have up close and personal interaction with tour groups from all over the world, Brazil in particular. Learn Spanish chants that will be shouted throughout the parks, be pushed and shoved while they make their way to the front of each and every attraction line, and even have their own special gate to enter the park. In addition, experience an anatomy lesson like no other complete with men in speedos and women sunbathing topless!
And there's more, share quality time with your family as you spend up to 90 minutes waiting to get on attractions. You can catch up on what your teen has been up to this summer or get some special one on one time with your toddler. Listen to the screams as parents take 3 year olds on Soarin'!! It's like an attraction before the attraction!!
Do you miss the Black Friday shopping rush? Not to fear, it is recreated for you nightly as people fight over Mickey t-shirts and sweatshirts in Downtown Disney. Looking for a Christmas ornament to adorn the tree, better keep it in your hand or someone may grab it right from underneath your nose. And don't even get me started on the toys and plush!! They are enough to make any child thrown a temper tantrum because Mom & Day can't buy them all!!
But the fun doesn't end when the sun goes down...fire alarms at 1:00am with resort evacuations to interupt your good night's sleep. Asian tourist with cameras who push and shove their way in front of you so they can record the Electrolight Parade and Wishes. You don't want to miss out on all this!!
So call now to book your reservations next July, resort space is limited so call right away operators are standing by.
Have a Magical Day!!
Disclaimer: Please remember this post is written with much tongue-in-cheek humor and sarcasm. It is meant to be over the top and humorous!!